Pain During Sex (Dyspareunia): Causes and When to Seek Help

Pain during sex is surprisingly common, yet it's rarely talked about openly. Many people feel shame, or assume pain is a normal part of sex that simply has to be tolerated. In reality, ongoing pain is always a sign of something that deserves attention — never something to just accept.

What Dyspareunia Means

Dyspareunia is the medical term for recurring or persistent pain before, during, or after intercourse. It can show up in many forms — sharp, burning, deep, or superficial — and the causes vary considerably.

The Most Common Causes in Women

Insufficient arousal and lubrication. One of the most common and most easily fixed causes. Rushed foreplay or stress can prevent natural lubrication, making penetration uncomfortable or painful.

Vaginismus. Involuntary contraction of the muscles around the vagina, making penetration difficult or impossible. This can involve psychological factors, but it's a treatable condition.

Endometriosis. A condition causing chronic pelvic pain that can make deep penetration especially painful.

Vulvodynia. Chronic pain in the external genitals with no clear cause — often underdiagnosed and undertreated.

Infections. Yeast infections, bacterial infections, or urinary tract infections can cause pain during intercourse.

Hormonal changes. Menopause, breastfeeding, or certain contraceptives can thin vaginal tissue and reduce natural moisture.

Past trauma. Physical or sexual trauma can manifest in the body as pain, even when the mind doesn't consciously connect the two.

The Most Common Causes in Men

Tight foreskin (phimosis). Can cause pain during erection or intercourse.

Peyronie's disease. Scarring of internal penile tissue that causes curvature and can make intercourse painful.

Infections or inflammation. Prostatitis, for example, can cause pain during ejaculation.

Allergic reactions. Sensitization to lubricant or condom material can develop, causing irritation and pain.

When to Seek Help

Pain is never something you're supposed to "just tolerate." See a doctor if:

• The pain is ongoing or recurring
• The pain is accompanied by unusual discharge, itching, or odor
• The pain is affecting desire or the relationship
• The pain is sudden and intense

What You Can Do Yourself While Waiting for an Appointment

Add more foreplay

Adequate arousal before penetration reduces mechanical friction and discomfort.

Use plenty of lubricant

This is the simplest and most effective way to reduce friction-related pain, regardless of the underlying cause.

Try different positions

Some positions reduce pain from deep penetration better than others — for example, positions where you control the depth of penetration yourself.

Stop if it hurts

Pain is a message from the body that shouldn't be ignored. Stopping and discussing the situation with your partner isn't failure.

The Partner's Role

Open conversation is essential. A partner doesn't need to feel guilty about the pain, but an understanding, patient response makes the situation easier for both people. Pain doesn't mean a partner isn't attractive — it's a physiological message from the body.

Products That Can Help

Plenty of good-quality lubricant is often the first and most effective aid. Hypoallergenic, fragrance-free options suit sensitive skin. The pjur Woman Vegan water-based lubricant is a gentle choice for everyday use, while the pjur Woman Bodyglide silicone-based lubricant stays slick for longer, which can be especially helpful if friction has been part of what's causing the pain.

Worth checking out in Nautintonurkka's selection:

• pjur Woman Vegan water-based lubricant, 100 ml — gentle, suited for daily use
• pjur Woman Bodyglide silicone-based lubricant, 250 ml — long-lasting slickness, a good option for friction-related discomfort

In Closing

Pain during sex isn't a normal thing to be tolerated. Causes range from mild, easily fixed issues to more serious conditions requiring treatment — but every one of them deserves attention. Open conversation with a partner, and a doctor when needed, is the best way forward.